A Leap of Faith Changed the Trajectory of My Life
My Leap of Faith
Have you ever been so fed with your situation that you decided to jump ship? It was time for new beginnings, so you started anew.
As a wife and mom, I must say that our family is truly blessed. I’m a Respiratory Therapist who works for a couple days a week outside of our home. I get to serve the medicine ministry while also getting the opportunity to be home with my kids, work online, and be a shoulder to lean on to millions of other women. I am definitely living my best life. But it wasn’t like this always and it surely wasn’t easy. In fact….
Several years ago, I took a leap of faith and it changed the trajectory of my entire life. I was a single parent getting food stamps and living in section 8 housing while working full-time job and going to school. My relationship was on the rocks and had been for quite sometime. My self-esteem was low, I was lonely and my 3 year old son watched his mother cry just about everyday. I was miserable! I was depressed and just didn’t know what to do.
My son and I started attending church regularly. I knew that I needed a spiritual uplifting. I knew that I needed to go back to my roots. You see I started off of the path that was meant for me and then started following my own plan and not God’ plan.
God is Faithful
I grew up in church and desperately needed to be back in church. I prayed and cried and prayed and cried. Depression was sucking the life out of me. I had to buckle down and focus on what was important because my life had spiraled out of control and I was losing myself in the process. I wanted to be loved. Loved in a way that God was already loving me, unconditionally.
There was no need for me to look any further. I had to begin learning to love myself the way that God loved me. That was the only way that I could be the mom that my son deserved. After spending some much needed time with God, I was no longer able to point fingers at the people around me. Full responsibility was taken for where I was and what I allowed others to do to me.
Seek A Relationship
I knew that I deserved better! The time had come for me to step out on faith and trust God with my whole heart. The only way that I could get a hold of the abundant life that I deserved was to change my environment. When I changed my environment, then my perception changed. I didn’t just want better for me and my son, but I started seeking better.
I started seeking a relationship with God that in the process enabled me to learn who I was as a person. There was baggage that I needed to unpack. Rejection, un-forgiveness, bitterness, anger, and envy were some of those things. As God revealed the broken bits and pieces, I was able to identify the root caused and begin the healing process. I decided to move out of section 8 housing because it kept me in a dark place that I so desperately needed to be freed from.
The move was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I packed up my apartment and moved pieces of furniture by myself that only God could have given me the strength to move. I was determined to get me and my son on solid ground. But in order to do so, I needed to build a stronger foundation. ME! I needed to build me up. I needed to be happy again. My son needed to see me happy again. That leap of faith changed the trajectory of my life. Let’s just say, God showed up and showed out!
New Beginnings
Fast forward 3 years later, newly married, home being built, and the happiest we’d been in a long time. I inherited a son, my husband inherited a son, and our boys inherited brothers. We were now a blended family. It was hard at first. We all were raised different and therefore were raising our kids different.
As we got to know each other and grew on each other, we became one big happy family. We joined a new church and were baptized together. We worshipped, ate dinner, and traveled together. I was so happy, but something was off. There were days that just out of the blue, I would be sad and I had no idea why. I felt this way off and on in the pass. I knew that back then my situation made it worst, but now I was happy. So, what was the problem?
The Struggle Was Real
The problem was that I struggled with depression as a teen and never went to counseling. As a result, as I grew, it grew with me. As a teen I remember telling my mom that I was sad and depressed. Only for her to tell me not to claim or to pray about it. So that’s exactly what I did. I prayed about it and figured if I didn’t think about it, then it would go away.
That meant it was all in my mind, so there was nothing to be concerned about, or so I thought. It was time for me to tell my husband. My husband knew something was wrong, but he didn’t say anything. On those days I was withdrawn, irritable, and preferred to be left alone. I was ashamed to talk about depression and embarrassed to admit that I was struggling with it. I couldn’t even force the word out of my mouth. Of course it took a leap of faith and that leap of faith really did change the trajectory my life.
Do It Afraid
Finally, I got the nerve to talk to my husband and share with him that I was depressed and had been off and on for quite sometime. He said that he knew something was wrong, so that’s why during those days he would give me my space and made sure that the kids did too.
That’s when I decided to start counseling and wrote about the freedom that I felt once I was able to verbalize what I’d been going through. So, I figured, why not put it in a book entitled “Finally Set Free: The Shift from Concealing It to Revealing It”, and I share it with everyone because maybe it can help set others free. Not only set others free from depression, but free from abuse (sexual, physical, mental and/or emotional abuse), rejection, unforgiveness and any pain of the past, as well as the present.
Issa blog yall! There are circumstances that contribute to all of the above. I am ‘The Compassion Chef” and we will be stirring up mindful and meaningful conversations that will be beneficial to us in multiple areas of life. That leap of faith changed the trajectory of my life and now it will change yours too.
