Life’s Grand

Imagine what you would consider a normal life. A life where your mom and dad are happily married, both parents are employed and doing well. You have siblings that you love dearly but of course they sometimes get on your nerves, what siblings don’t or at least one of them. You have one that is calm, cool, and collected and the other that is loud and proud. Lol! Yes! Of course, I’m describing my family.

We attended church together.  My mom made me sing on the choir and go to Sunday school and I hated it.  I just want to stay in bed and get ready to go hang out with my friends. The perfect family was what I saw!

What’s Cancer

At school there was a classmate with leukemia, a form of cancer that invades the blood cells in the body. My teacher informed the class that she had been hospitalized yet again and needed a bone marrow transplant in order to survive.  There was not a dry eye in class that day.  We felt a great deal of sadness for her.  She had the transplant, and all went well but unfortunately less than a year later, her cancer came back.

I went home and told my mom all about my friend and prayed that she got better again.  All to find out that my mom and dad were getting a divorce and I had no idea why.  I never saw this coming! My dad seemed so angry that he didn’t want to talk to my mom on the telephone or anywhere else.  I thought to myself, this has got to be a nightmare!  I could hardly wait to go back to school.  A break from home was needed and as a child, there was only one place to do that. SCHOOL!

The Book Fair

The next week in school the teacher told us to bring money for the school book fair that was coming at the end of the week.  I was super excited all week long because I could finally purchase books that I like instead of the ones that my mom tried to get me to read.  I finally had a little something to look forward to other than the sadness that I’d been feeling.

The day came and it was time for the book fair.  I went to the book fair and purchased two books. The one I could hardly wait to read was called “Six Months to Live.” I read the book with every time that was available.  I just could not put it down.

My mother says to me, dear what are you reading that has your attention ALL the time. So, I explained to her that the book was about a girl with leukemia who had six months to live.  She reminded me of my friend that had the same illness.

In the book, just like my friend, the girl lost all her hair and was now bald. People made fun of her because she didn’t have hair. They didn’t understand her sickness and all that she was going through.  My mom said “Oh my” when you’re done, I would like to read the book also. After I was done with the book, I passed it on to my mother who was just like me and could not put the book down.

Hurricane Season

But who knew that after my mom read the book that I would get sick?  I had a stomach ache and a high fever.  My mom took me to the doctor, and they give antibiotics figuring that it was a stomach virus or something.  After a week went by, I still had a high fever. At this point my mom took me back to the doctor and they admitted me to the hospital.

I was afraid and had no idea what was going on.  After the doctors ran tests at the hospital the tests showed that I had a liver disease and they transferred me to a hospital that was better equipped to handle the illness that I had been diagnosed with. I was thinking to myself, “I must really be sick that they need to transfer me to another hospital.”

Once I arrived at the new hospital, the doctors there ran tests of their own.  A doctor by the name of Dr. Crushe came in and explained that they needed to do a procedure called a lumbar puncture.  My eyes grew wide because I had heard that terminology before while reading the book entitled “Six Months to live” so I know what they were looking for.  My goodness! They think that I have cancer. (my thoughts exactly)

The Tsunami

After the procedure, and I had slept off the anesthesia Dr. Crushe came in and explained that I had Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. My mom broke down crying and I looked at Dr Crushe in the eyes and said “okay.”  Dr. Crushe didn’t quite get my response and he said what do you mean “okay.”

I said to Dr. Crushe that you’re not going to believe this but me and my mom just read a book about a little girl that had leukemia and I already knew all that I will be going through and that I was ready to fight.  It sent chills up the doctor’s spine. I said to him Dr. Crushe God has already prepared me and my mother for what’s to come.

From that point I’d become a spokesperson to share my testimony with everyone that came into the hospital and was diagnosed with leukemia.  I gave them a sense of hope. You see they heard about God and believed in Him because their parents told them that they should and the Sunday school teacher told them they should and even when the pastor preached he told them that they should but there I was with a testimony so strong that at that point, they finally believed in God for themselves.

The Shift

God has a way of stepping in when He knows something isn’t right. If he sees us on a path of self-destruction, He will step in.  You see God has a plan for every one of us. Sometimes we take our own path and make choices that we feel is right but there is always a moment when we will realize that the path that God has mapped out for us is so much better.

Before I became ill, I wished that my mom and dad would get back together or at least just be able to hold a conversation with one another.  Well after I became sick dad had to call mom to find out what was going on.  Dad took turns coming to the hospital and the house to give mom a break.

Unfortunately, I felt like I had to become ill for my mom and dad to be able to communicate again.  They were talking and compromising and getting along and that was all that mattered.  I knew that I was not going to die. “Six Months to Live” was the title of the book that I read, but it was not the final story of my life.  I had already decided that I would not give up no matter what.

His Will, His Way

Even as a kid, throughout the fight I kept my hands in God’s hands. When things got rough and I was in pain and couldn’t eat I still trusted that God was going to bring me out. As a child you don’t know anything about the enemy and how the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy.

All I knew is that when I was afraid, I could call on the name of Jesus and he would be there.  Some of you may have heard of a near death experience and some of you have not but just imagine going back to the hospital again for another one of those bone marrow thingies to see if there are still cancer cells in your blood and marrow.  The anesthesiologist gives the medication to put me to sleep and it was one of those days that my body and mind was tired of fighting and I just want to be normal again.

Life After Death

So, during the procedure I decided to give up after getting what seemed to be an unusually large dose of medication (I’m guessing) and there is a bright light ahead.  I was sliding down a never ending slide traveling to a bright light and I was so afraid I started singing “Yes Jesus loves Me” and as I was singing my dad shook me gently and said “baby girl what are you singing” “daddy is here” and it was at that moment that I realized giving up was not an option.

I needed to finish what was started, that it was not time to let go because God had so much more for me to do. So, I say to you, things may be tough right now and you may feel like you are sliding down a never ending, slide but if you let go and let God, if you call on the name of Jesus, he will answer by saying “baby girl, I hear you, daddy is here.”

Still Here

So, don’t you ever give up! God has put something in each one of us, but we must lean, rely on, trust in, and depend on Him. Don’t worry about what people think or say because we are daughters of a true King. You are somebody!  You are beautiful, intelligent, successful, smart, a true gift! Trust the process, but most importantly, Trust Him!

I want to let you know that in the book that I read,  they gave the young lady 6 months to live and my classmate 6 months to live.  She fought for about 4 years and lost the battle.  They thought I would too but, it has now been 31 years and I AM STILL HERE! I AM A LIVING TESTIMONY!

I don’t care what things may look like right now, but I am here to tell you that if you travel the path that God has for you there is NOTHING OR NO ONE that can stop or block what He has in store for you. Friends will come and friends will go.  There will be ups and downs, smiles and frowns, sunshine and rain.  You will experience heartache and pain. THAT’S LIFE. But once you let go and let God, everything else will fall into place.  Just TRUST HIM!

Sharing is caring!